Have you ever noticed how some individuals, the ones who didn't quite seem to fit the typical mold during their university days or early career, sometimes end up achieving remarkable success, often surpassing those who followed a more conventional path? It's a common observation, and frequently, these individuals share a tendency: they don't always play by the established rules.

Our society often presents a specific blueprint for achieving success, filled with rules and expected actions. Yet, as Eric Barker explores in his book Barking Up the Wrong Tree, much of what we're told about success might be more myth than reality. Sometimes, the path to achievement requires us to diverge, to do things differently.

Two Roads to the Top: Understanding Leadership Styles

So, how does one actually reach a position of success? Understanding the different routes can be incredibly insightful. Drawing from leadership theories, like those discussed by thinkers such as Gautam Mukunda, we can broadly see two types of leaders: the "filtered" and the "unfiltered."

Unfiltered Leaders: These are individuals who rise to prominence often because a unique, specific situation demands their exact, often atypical, set of qualities. Think of figures like Bill Gates, Steve Jobs, or Mark Zuckerberg. Their particular genius or approach, which might be ineffective or even viewed negatively in other circumstances, was precisely what was needed at that moment. Zuckerberg's path to creating Facebook, for instance, involved choices others might not have made. Similarly, Steve Jobs' famously demanding nature, while potentially problematic today, was instrumental in driving his vision forward during Apple's formative years. Success for unfiltered leaders often involves being in the right place, at the right time, with a unique ability that meets the moment's need. It's a path defined by distinctiveness and circumstance, and while potentially leading to great heights, it's not a predictable route.

Filtered Leaders: This group represents those who climb the ladder more traditionally. They progress through established stages, learning and adapting along the way. They build their skills, gain experience, and develop leadership qualities incrementally. Examples might include leaders like Satya Nadella at Microsoft or Tim Cook at Apple, or entrepreneurs who meticulously build their companies within competitive landscapes through consistent effort and learning from trial and error. This path relies less on a single stroke of genius or perfect timing and more on steady growth, skill acquisition, and navigating existing structures effectively.

Recognizing these two paths is vital. The chance of being an unfiltered leader is relatively small; it requires not just incredible, perhaps niche, abilities but also the fortune of finding the perfect context for them. For most, the path of a filtered leader – diligently learning, growing, and developing necessary skills and qualities over time – offers a more probable route to becoming effective and successful in leadership roles.

Finding Your Unique Edge: Strengths in Unexpected Places

Often, the challenge isn't a lack of success-driving qualities, but rather a lack of awareness about what your specific strengths are and where they could be most valuable. Every individual possesses unique traits, and sometimes, what seems like a limitation can be a powerful asset in the right setting.

Consider individuals with autism spectrum disorder. While societal first impressions might focus on potential employment challenges, reality can be different. For example, the Israeli army reportedly discovered that individuals on the autism spectrum excelled at analyzing drone surveillance footage. This demanding, monotonous work requires sustained high concentration, a task where their specific cognitive style proved superior. This illustrates a powerful point: virtually any unique characteristic can become a significant strength when applied in the correct environment. The key is self-understanding and finding that niche.

The Nice Guy Paradox: Who Really Gets Ahead?

Does kindness pay, or do more assertive, even abrasive, personalities win in the workplace? Research presents a somewhat complex picture. Some studies suggest that, on average, less agreeable or more "negative" individuals might achieve a certain level of success more frequently. One explanation is philosophical – perhaps negative interactions or feedback simply leave a stronger, more lasting impression. A more practical reason is that assertive individuals are often unafraid to voice their opinions and demand what they want, like asking directly for a raise, while quieter, more modest colleagues might hope their work speaks for itself.

However, there's crucial positive news here. While difficult personalities might thrive in the middle ranks, the very highest positions and salaries often go to "good," more agreeable people. Why? Firstly, individuals skilled in collaboration can unite people towards a common goal, motivating through encouragement rather than just fear. Secondly, most people prefer leaders they respect and trust; we tend to choose individuals perceived as fair and decent to lead us. So, while assertiveness can contribute to a career, genuine likability and the ability to build positive relationships are often key differentiators for reaching the very top.

The Power Within: Motivation Beyond the Material

Is ambition or motivation more critical than raw talent? While ability is undeniably crucial, especially in technical fields, ambition and internal drive are often just as, if not more, important. The old saying goes, "A bad soldier is one who does not want to become a general."

Crucially, it's internal motivation that truly sustains effort. This comes from finding deep meaning in your goals – striving for something beyond just practical or material gain. Aiming to make a difference, contribute to society, or uphold values like honesty can provide powerful fuel. While practical goals change our quality of life, relying solely on them can lead to burnout and disappointment.

Think of two hospital cleaners in identical roles. The one who sees their job merely as tedious work for basic survival is less likely to excel than the one who views it as part of a vital mission to help heal people. Similarly, a startup founder driven solely by potential profit may falter when faced with setbacks, whereas one who genuinely believes their creation improves the world is more likely to persevere. Finding that higher purpose in your work, connecting it to a desire to contribute or help others, fosters resilience and commitment.

Focusing on What Matters: The Art of Letting Go

We're often told that planning and sheer hard work are the secrets to effectiveness. However, true effectiveness often lies in elimination – consciously deciding what not to do. Look critically at your days and weeks. How much time is spent on activities that don't genuinely move you closer to your most important goals? What could be dropped, delegated, or replaced with actions that do contribute? Even within essential tasks, question if there are unnecessary steps that can be streamlined or removed. Focusing your energy requires strategically clearing away the clutter.

Quiet Strength, Loud Impact: Introverts and Extroverts

Another common belief is that extroverts inevitably achieve greater success than introverts. Statistics might show extroverts earning more on average and becoming managers more often, largely because communication skills and networking play significant roles in many business environments.

However, this doesn't mean introversion is without advantages. Introverts often excel as deep specialists because their nature allows for greater focus without the constant need for external interaction. Virtuoso musicians or record-breaking athletes are often introverted. Furthermore, while extroverts might frequently land leadership roles, introverts can be highly effective leaders, particularly when managing teams of self-motivated professionals. They tend to be more thoughtful problem-solvers, better listeners, and more analytical. If an introvert can cultivate sufficient empathy and communication skills, their reflective strengths can lead to significant success.

Your Path is Unique

Ultimately, these insights show there isn't one guaranteed formula for success. Each person's path can, and perhaps should, be unique. Understanding these different dynamics – leadership styles, hidden strengths, the nuances of personality, the power of internal motivation, and the importance of focus – empowers you to navigate your own way toward a more fulfilling and successful life.

References:

• Barker, Eric. Barking Up the Wrong Tree: The Surprising Science Behind Why Everything You Know About Success Is (Mostly) Wrong. HarperOne, 2017.
  This book directly addresses many themes in the article, challenging conventional wisdom about success factors like rule-following, personality traits (niceness, confidence), and motivation, using scientific studies and real-world examples. It explores why outliers sometimes succeed and questions standard advice.