Have you ever paused to consider what truly drives you? Here’s an exercise that might offer profound clarity. Take a moment, a piece of paper, or a blank document. Let's map out the landscape of your aspirations.

Capturing Your 'Wants'

Write down everything you genuinely want in this life. Don't filter yet; capture every aspiration, big or small, every desired action, every longed-for emotion. Think of it as "Everything I Want To Experience."

Include the desires that resonate deep within your heart. Perhaps it's the thrill of free-falling during a parachute jump. Maybe it's achieving a physical form that turns heads on the beach. It could be the quiet satisfaction of driving a dream car through city lights at night, or the profound connection of meeting the love of your life. Maybe it's as simple as sitting in a café in an unfamiliar city, sipping coffee, observing strangers, and soaking in the atmosphere.

Perhaps you desire a new gadget, believing it might make you feel a little more significant, or the daily comfort of petting your cat. List them all.

Focus on quality, not just quantity. If you have ten items that truly speak to you, resist the urge to invent more just to fill the page. Write down what genuinely excites you, not what you think you should want. If the idea of a five-thousand-dollar watch doesn't spark real pleasure within you, leave it off. Don't list things simply because they are considered symbols of success or happiness by others.

Be specific. If a financial goal is on your list, say earning a certain amount monthly, specify how you envision achieving it. Is it through rising to a top management position? Excelling as a freelancer? Building your own business? Or perhaps generating passive income? Precision matters. Most importantly, be honest with yourself. What do you specifically want? Often, we adopt the dreams of others without realizing it. Shed those external expectations and list only what truly comes from within.

Mapping Your Week: The 'Actions' List

Now, on the other half of the sheet or a new document, detail everything you actually do during a typical week. List all the actions you've taken at least once in the last seven days.

Include every movie watched, each day spent at work (and how many hours were truly productive), time spent commuting, time spent eating, every gym session, every hour spent reading, conversations with friends, and even the hours spent simply lying down, staring at the ceiling.

Record everything, from minor activities to daily routines. Again, honesty is crucial. Don't embellish or omit things out of shame. This list is for your eyes only.

Connecting the Dots: The Alignment Check

You now have two lists: your 'Wants' and your 'Actions'. Take your list of actions and, for each item, try to connect it to an item on your 'Wants' list. Draw a line or make a note indicating which desire that specific action serves, helps you achieve, or moves you towards.

For example, if your 'Wants' list includes having an ideal physique, and your 'Actions' list includes visiting the gym, draw a connection from each gym visit to that desire. If you want to earn a specific income as a freelancer, and your actions include working on a portfolio project or learning a new relevant skill, connect those actions to your income goal.

Ideally, many of your actions should link directly to your stated desires.

Interpreting the Results: Facing the Disconnect

However, you might find, perhaps surprisingly, that a significant number of your actions have no connection to any of your stated wants. Of course, some actions are necessary for basic living – eating, commuting (if it enables a goal-related job), basic chores – even if not directly tied to a grand aspiration.

But look closely at the discretionary time. This exercise often leads to two important realizations:

1. Misaligned Efforts: A large portion of your life, your time, and your energy might not be actively contributing to what you claim to want most. If you avoid making excuses, this realization might feel unsettling. That discomfort is valuable; it signals that awareness is dawning.

2. Questioning Desires: If you dedicate substantial time to activities completely unrelated to a stated goal, perhaps that goal isn't your true desire. For instance, if you wrote "become an interior designer" but your action list shows no steps towards it (like studying design, saving for software) and instead features hours of watching TV series daily, could it be that your genuine desire, right now, is simply to relax and enjoy those shows? Perhaps you feel societal pressure to have grander goals and are hesitant to admit simpler pleasures bring you happiness.

The Choice: Acceptance or Change

If the second realization resonates, perhaps you need to give yourself permission. Acknowledge, "Okay, right now, my happiness involves watching these series and playing games." You could consciously decide to cross off some of the bigger, currently unsupported goals, freeing yourself from the guilt of inaction. You might even set a new goal related to your actual enjoyable activities. By accepting this, you might find more peace and happiness in the short term than many people striving for things they don't truly allocate time for. The key is ensuring you won't deeply regret this choice later.

But even then, it's never too late. You can always revisit, make a new list, and change direction.

If, however, the first realization – that your daily actions don't align with your sincere desires – causes frustration, disappointment, or a rising desire to change things, then start changing.

Try living one week consciously. Aim to structure your time so that when you make your 'Actions' list at the end of it, almost every significant action connects directly to one of your 'Wants'.

A Final Thought

Whatever path you choose, remember this: time is finite. Every day reduces the window you have to achieve your desires. Yet, crucially, every single day also represents a vast opportunity to take meaningful steps towards making those wants a reality. Don't just dream; align your actions. Live intentionally.

References:

• Frankl, V. E. (1959). Man's Search for Meaning. Beacon Press.
  This book, particularly Part Two ("Logotherapy in a Nutshell"), explores the fundamental human drive for meaning. It emphasizes that meaning can be found even in difficult circumstances and that our actions gain significance when aligned with our core values and purpose. This relates directly to the article's call to identify desires that "really resonate" and to question actions that don't lead toward meaningful goals. (Focus particularly on the concepts of finding meaning through creating work, experiencing something/someone, and the attitude taken toward unavoidable suffering).

• Seligman, M. E. P. (2002). Authentic Happiness: Using the New Positive Psychology to Realize Your Potential for Lasting Fulfillment. Free Press.
  Seligman distinguishes between the "Pleasant Life" (seeking positive emotions), the "Good Life" (using strengths for engagement/flow), and the "Meaningful Life" (using strengths for something larger than oneself). This framework is relevant to the article's discussion about potentially mistaking pleasure (like watching TV) for deeper fulfillment, and the importance of identifying if desires align with activities that build engagement or serve a larger personal meaning, rather than just fleeting enjoyment. (See chapters on Positive Emotion, Strengths/Virtues, and Meaning/Purpose).