We often decide what we want to achieve in life after seeing striking examples of success. Maybe we learn about someone who launched a startup and now enjoys luxury cars and frequent international holidays. Perhaps we hear of someone who completed specialized courses, landed a job at a global company, and earns a substantial salary in foreign currency. We might admire an architect crafting beautiful designs, someone building a career in public service, or an entrepreneur earning a significant income. Success stories extend to sports champions, acclaimed authors whose books garner rave reviews, or even the delightful experience of an exquisite meal at a renowned restaurant. Witnessing these achievements shapes our idea of what a successful path looks like, often based on these perfected final outcomes.

The First Steps and the Harsh Reality

Inspired by these polished examples, we take our initial steps towards our own goals. Whether starting a new business venture or venturing into a creative field, the results we achieve in the early days or months often feel drastically inferior to the high standards that fueled our ambition. We've already become acquainted with the impressive skills of established figures in our chosen area, and facing our own initial, often clumsy, efforts can be incredibly difficult. We might find ourselves unable to tolerate the mediocrity we perceive in our own creations.

Caught in the Contradiction

This leads to a difficult internal conflict. On one side, our dreams were born from observing the brilliance and accomplishments of others. On the other side, everything we produce seems to highlight our apparent inability to reach that same level. This is where the trap of perfectionism often snaps shut. It can be understood as a strong desire for an ideal outcome, but without a realistic or mature grasp of the actual work, time, and setbacks required to get there.

The Unseen Struggles Behind Success

A significant part of the problem lies in how success stories are often presented – usually without showing the full picture. The countless unremarkable moments, the years potentially filled with failures, rejections, and disappointments experienced even by those who eventually succeed, are rarely highlighted. This selective focus can make exceptional achievements seem like the norm rather than the outliers they truly are. It can start to feel as though everyone finds success easily because the only stories we hear are the successful ones. We forget to factor in the immense effort, the moments of despair, and the numerous failures that almost inevitably surround these narratives.

Seeing Beyond the Surface

We experience our own struggles, setbacks, and frustrations intimately, from the inside. Yet, when we look outward, we often see only the seemingly smooth and painless success stories of others. This disparity makes it hard to forgive ourselves for the perceived inadequacy of our initial attempts, largely because we haven't been shown the rough early efforts of those we admire.

Embracing Imperfection as Progress

To counter this, we need a more grounded understanding of the challenges involved in creating something truly noteworthy. Instead of fixating only on finished masterpieces, it's helpful to imagine peeking into the studio and seeing the "early drafts" pile, maybe even noticing faint tear marks on pages where a frustrated creator got stuck. We should seek out the stories of how long it took an architect, perhaps until they were well into middle age, to land their first significant commission. It means digging up the less-than-perfect early writings of authors now considered brilliant, or carefully studying the number of failed ventures an entrepreneur endured. We need to appreciate the sheer amount of sweat an athlete poured into training and the sacrifices they made along the way.

Recognizing the essential and unavoidable role of failure is crucial. We must allow ourselves the space to do things imperfectly, potentially for a long time. Consider this period of imperfection as the necessary price for the chance, maybe even decades later, to create something that others might one day view as an effortless success.