Have you ever felt adrift, as though your life is a series of compromises shaped by societal pressures, family expectations, or deep-seated fears? It's a feeling that life isn't truly yours, that you're holding your breath instead of breathing freely. Carl Jung suggested that genuine living only commences when an individual prioritizes their own self above all else. But what does this truly entail? What unfolds when you decide to place yourself at the very core of your existence? Let's delve into the profound shifts that occur when you make the pivotal choice for yourself.

The Crumbling of the Old Persona

When a person first commits to choosing themselves, they often encounter the dismantling of their former self. This can be an uncomfortable, even painful, experience. The old self, meticulously constructed over years, is layered with others' expectations, societal norms, and anxieties. We cling to these masks because they offer a semblance of safety, yet this security is often an illusion. Authentic life beckons only when we muster the courage to shed these masks and confront the truth: many of our past decisions weren't truly our own. We were following scripts, fearing disappointment, striving to meet external standards.

Then, a moment arrives—often during life's darker passages, amidst crisis or the collapse of old meanings—when an inner call awakens, too potent to ignore. This is the summons of the true self. An internal emptiness surfaces, one that external success, recognition, or even others' affection cannot fill. The only truly healing balm is self-love, but accessing it requires navigating a period of inner chaos.

Confronting the Shadow Within

Carl Jung termed this inward exploration "individuation"—a descent into the soul's depths where one meets their shadow self. The shadow contains all the aspects we've rejected, deemed unacceptable, or repressed: hidden desires, authentic aspirations, pain, anger, and fear. Choosing oneself means coming face-to-face with this hidden territory.

In this confrontation, illusions begin to shatter. The fear of judgment reveals itself as just fear. The guilt associated with self-prioritization is recognized as an artificial construct, often imposed by societal conditioning. This realization brings liberation, yet it's a frightening freedom. It doesn't offer immediate comfort; instead, it can initially lead to profound loneliness.

Navigating the Void and Finding New Connections

Choosing authenticity means letting go. Those accustomed to the old, compliant version of you—those who benefited from your compromises or manipulated your desire to please—may drift away. This feels like the world is crumbling, and in a sense, it is. The old world must dissolve to make space for the new.

But amidst this apparent loss, something remarkable occurs. New people enter your life—individuals who resonate with your genuine self, who don't require masks or performances. Fresh meanings and opportunities arise. Most significantly, a profound sense of inner integrity is born. The need to please diminishes, the habit of self-sacrifice for approval fades. You begin to sense that you are living as you were always meant to live, a feeling that is truly invaluable.

An Ongoing Commitment to Authenticity

Choosing yourself isn't a single event; it's a continuous, daily decision. Moments of doubt will inevitably arise. The temptation to slip back into comfortable masks, to adjust and conform, will surface. This is where the real work unfolds. Each time you consciously choose yourself, you reinforce your inner foundation, growing stronger and more whole.

As this commitment deepens, a palpable shift occurs. You start attracting experiences, people, and circumstances that genuinely align with your true nature. As Jung noted, until we make the unconscious conscious, it directs our lives, and we mistake it for fate. Choosing yourself is the act of becoming conscious, taking ownership of your life. In doing so, you cease being a passive recipient of circumstances and become the creator of your experience. Real life begins here.

Living Beyond Fear and Expectation

Continuing to choose yourself reshapes your reality. Old fears lose their grip because the need to hide diminishes. External validation no longer dictates self-worth. Holding onto things that don't bring genuine joy becomes unnecessary, replaced by an inner trust that life will guide you towards what is truly valuable.

It's crucial to understand that choosing yourself isn't synonymous with selfishness. It's not about rejecting others or disregarding their feelings. Rather, it's about radical honesty. It's the capacity to say "no" when you mean no, even if "yes" avoids disappointment. It's the courage to say "yes" to what resonates deeply within your soul, even against external expectations. It's fidelity to your inner truth, even if it provokes resistance.

Discovering Inner Sufficiency and True Value

Over time, inner support solidifies. The search for validation in the external world ceases because your inherent value becomes self-evident. You consciously curate your environment, no longer clinging to chaotic situations or relationships. Loneliness loses its sting because the inner emptiness has been filled. You realize the most precious asset you possess is yourself—your inner world, thoughts, feelings, and dreams. Everything sought externally—love, acceptance, meaning—was always present within, obscured by layers of fear and conditioning.

Jung suggested our task isn't necessarily to seek love but to dismantle the internal barriers we've built against it. Choosing yourself is the process of removing these barriers, opening access to the soul's depths. The world then begins to respond in kind. Opportunities align, resonant connections form, and a sense of harmony emerges. The internal conflict subsides. You feel integrated, whole. You stop playing roles and hiding. The external world, a reflection of the internal, starts to clarify, becoming cleaner and filled with authentic meaning. There's no more room for false compromises or a life unlived.

Embracing Integrity and True Strength

Reaching a state of integrity changes life's perception. The need to prove oneself vanishes. The drive for attention or approval dissolves. You simply live, guided by your inner compass. This is where true strength lies—not in controlling others or manipulating reality, but in unwavering loyalty to yourself.

This path isn't always smooth. Old fears and doubts may resurface. You'll face choices: revert to familiar patterns or take another step towards authenticity. Each choice tests your trust in yourself, your willingness to release illusions and accept yourself fully. Your desires become purer, shedding societal impositions. External achievements like career or status cease to be the ultimate goal. Depth becomes the new measure—seeking what genuinely nourishes the soul and fosters harmony.

And then, often when you least expect it, life begins to offer what you scarcely dared to imagine. Opportunities arise naturally. Supportive people appear at the right moments. Life unfolds without constant struggle or tension because you are living in flow—a natural state achieved by aligning with your true self, honouring desires, and discarding external scripts. You taste life deeply, authentically.

The Endless Nature of Self-Choice and Inner Freedom

This path has no final destination. It's an ongoing process, a daily listening, a moment-to-moment choice to trust your inner voice, even amidst external chaos or misunderstanding. Eventually, a profound realization dawns: you are no longer afraid. You are free—free to be yourself, walk your own way, live according to your heart. In this freedom, genuine, unshakeable happiness is born.

Jung wrote that we become truly alive when we dare to follow our unique individuality. When you choose yourself repeatedly, your inner light becomes perceptible. It's not ostentatious but a quiet, confident glow emanating from someone who has ceased fighting themselves and found their place. This authenticity acts as a mirror for others, inspiring some, potentially irritating those reminded of their own constraints. But you no longer need to explain, justify, or seek external understanding. You understand yourself; you are enough.

This self-sufficiency empowers you to choose your companions wisely, setting firm boundaries, no longer tolerating destructive dynamics or settling for less than you deserve. This doesn't make you hard; it makes you open yet protected. Life ceases to feel like a constant battle. Happiness isn't a future destination; it's present in each conscious breath. The world appears brighter, connections deeper, energy preserved for what truly matters. Trials still occur, but you meet them differently—not as a victim, but as a conscious creator seeking growth, asking "What can this teach me?"

Responsibility, Creation, and Inner Peace

With the realization that you shape your reality comes profound responsibility—for your choices, thoughts, and reactions. Blaming others or circumstances is no longer viable. You know that your inner state reflects in your outer world. This awareness can be daunting; it’s often easier to live under the illusion of external control. But choosing yourself means acknowledging that happiness is an inside job.

You witness reality shift: difficulties become manageable, fear gives way to confidence, pain transforms into peace. You stop battling the unchangeable, accepting life while acting consciously. You trust the timing of events, understanding that even hardships guide you. You are no longer dependent on external saviours or circumstances for happiness; it resides within. You see beauty in simplicity, feel gratitude, and cease chasing elusive goals. You simply live.

Integration and the Power of Wholeness

Choosing yourself is not just an act of will; it's an act of love—self-acceptance despite imperfections. It affirms your worth and the validity of your unique desires. It's about Integration of all parts of yourself, including the shadow. The shadow doesn't vanish; it becomes an acknowledged part, its energy harnessed. Within what was rejected lies immense potential and creative energy.

Integrating these parts fosters incredible inner power—not of control, but of acceptance and integrity. You become authentically who you are. Life ceases to be a series of accidents; everything holds meaning on your path. You embrace change and unpredictability, knowing each day offers chances to learn and grow. Choosing yourself is choosing life itself, lived from the inside out. You become self-sufficient, your inner resources vast because they aren't reliant on external factors.

Life flows. Problems are met not with victimhood, but with the creative perspective of growth. This path isn't about reaching a static point of "having chosen myself." It's a dynamic, continuous unfolding. It is the willingness to be present with yourself, through strength and vulnerability, knowing that every step, even through difficulty, fosters growth. It's a transformation, an act of profound inner freedom that changes everything. You stop searching externally because you realize the treasure was always within.

References:

• Jung, C. G. (1964). Man and His Symbols. Dell Publishing.
  This book, conceived and edited by Jung shortly before his death and co-authored with his associates, serves as an accessible introduction to his core ideas for a general audience. It explores the significance of symbols arising from the unconscious (dreams, art, myths) as essential guides in the process of self-discovery and finding meaning, which relates directly to listening to the "inner call" and understanding the "shadow self" discussed in the article.
• Jung, C. G. (1966). Two Essays on Analytical Psychology (Collected Works Vol. 7). Princeton University Press.
  This volume contains foundational texts outlining Jung's concepts of the personal and collective unconscious, archetypes, and crucially, the process of individuation. Individuation, central to the article's theme, is described here as the lifelong psychological process of differentiation of the self out of the conscious and unconscious elements – essentially, becoming the unique individual one truly is, distinct from collective norms and expectations. See particularly the second essay, "The Relations Between the Ego and the Unconscious."
• Jacobi, J. (1973). The Psychology of C.G. Jung: An Introduction. Yale University Press.
  Written by a close associate of Jung, this book provides a clear and systematic overview of his complex psychological system. It elucidates key concepts like the ego, the shadow, the anima/animus, the Self, and the individuation process. It can be helpful for understanding the structure of the psyche Jung proposed and how "choosing oneself" aligns with the natural drive towards wholeness and integration of all psychic parts, including the often-rejected shadow aspects mentioned in the article (e.g., Chapters III on The Structure of the Psyche and IV on The Individuation Process).