The film "My King" opens with a dramatic ski fall, a powerful visual metaphor that sets the stage for the entire narrative. It's a stark reminder that thrilling ascents often come with the risk of a devastating crash. This opening hints that in the intense relationship depicted, the exhilarating highs are inevitably linked to painful lows. It asks us to consider: was the fall an accident, or perhaps something more?

The Unconscious Choice for Chaos

Sometimes, our bodies seem to know things our minds refuse to accept. Unexpected illnesses or accidents can serve as unconscious defense mechanisms, forcing a pause when we desperately need one but can't bring ourselves to stop. A fall on a steep slope might be the body's way of demanding a time-out, a break from a life path causing internal conflict. When conscious reasoning wars with deep-seated emotions, the body can step in. If vitality drains away, it's often a sign that one's lifestyle clashes with inner desires. The fall, therefore, might symbolize an unconscious attempt to step off the dangerous path the characters are on, forcing a period of reflection and rehabilitation.

Ignoring the Blaring Sirens

From the outset, the relationship between Tony and Giorgio is riddled with warning signs that are not just ignored, but seemingly embraced. Meeting a man who openly calls himself the "king of scoundrels" in a nightclub, surrounded by other women, isn't typically the start of a stable partnership. Yet, for someone perhaps unconsciously seeking turmoil, these aren't stop signs – they're signposts.

Giorgio's behavior consistently signals danger: his casual disregard for commitments (missed calls crumpled and thrown away), his lateness to a wedding where he's a witness, his childish antics, and his flippant remarks about his own untrustworthiness. There’s wisdom in observing how someone treats those they aren't emotionally attached to; it often predicts future behavior when the initial hormonal rush fades. His connection to a troubled ex, Agnes, who conveniently appears early on, raises questions that Tony, a capable lawyer, strangely avoids asking. It seems maintaining the illusion is more important than facing uncomfortable truths. The purchase of Xanax on a second date is another glaring red flag, casually dismissed with a joke, swallowed just like the "king of scoundrels" comment. By this point, the evidence points to an unpredictable, potentially manipulative individual with substance issues – yet the relationship deepens.

The Dance of Dysfunction

The dynamic quickly solidifies into a pattern seen in many unhealthy relationships. Giorgio’s declaration, "I am the king of scoundrels," isn't just a joke; it's a statement of intent, allowing him to dismiss future bad behavior as something he warned her about. Tony’s question, "Are you a scoundrel?" knowing the answer, suggests she isn't looking for stability. People often gravitate towards partners who mirror their own unresolved issues or internal state. If one views their partner as immature or abnormal, it begs the question of why they chose them in the first place.

The relationship spirals: Giorgio discusses intimate plans (having a child) with his ex, leading to her suicide attempt. He rationalizes maintaining contact, painting himself as a caretaker. Tony’s initial resolve to leave dissolves into apologies, handing control back to Giorgio. This pattern—ignoring problems, accumulating resentment, exploding, and then retreating—prevents genuine conflict resolution. Problems need to be addressed directly, not suppressed until they become scandals. When Tony apologizes for setting a boundary, she effectively locks herself back in the cage, allowing Giorgio to assert more dominance, now openly stating his need to care for his ex without fear of repercussions.

Rationalization and the Erosion of Self

Physical rehabilitation after the ski accident mirrors the needed emotional healing. Just as Tony damages her knee by trying too hard too soon after deciding to leave Giorgio, she sabotages her emotional recovery by returning to him. Her subsequent distress – sleeplessness, crying, anger – is attributed to external factors, while the true source, the toxic relationship itself, is masked with medication. Antidepressants become crutches, numbing the pain that signals the need for fundamental change, rather than facilitating the difficult decision to leave.

Giorgio masterfully uses rationalization, framing his selfish desires as beneficial actions. Moving into a separate apartment isn't about freedom to cheat; it's presented as a doctor-recommended step for the relationship's health. This manipulation works because Tony's will is weakened, her psyche desperate to cling to any justification, however flimsy, to avoid confronting the painful reality. Any act, no matter how harmful, can be rationalized if someone is determined to believe the justification.

The Inevitable Crash and the Illusion of Change

The arrival of bailiffs to seize property due to Giorgio's debts should be the final straw. His immaturity, financial irresponsibility, and disregard for others were evident from the start. Yet, even this isn't enough. The denial continues, even when confronted with blatant infidelity. Excuses are readily accepted because the alternative – facing the truth and the loss of the relationship – is too terrifying. Like an addict creating an alternative reality, Tony clings to the idea that the relationship can be salvaged, that Giorgio's actions don't mean what they clearly mean.

Even after Giorgio drives another partner to addiction and a suicide attempt, playing the roles of persecutor, rescuer, and victim (as described in the Karpman Drama Triangle), the cycle continues. Giorgio himself eventually points out that Tony, an intelligent lawyer, saw the red flags from the beginning but chose to ignore them for the thrill of the ride.

Taking responsibility – seeing oneself as the author of one's life rather than a victim of circumstance – is the key to change. Blaming others prevents personal growth. When we accept responsibility, we gain the power to improve our situation. Tony's eventual attempt to break free is a positive step, but the film's ending is ambiguous. Giorgio, seemingly changed, plays the caring father, a typical tactic of manipulators sensing finality. They become appealing again, luring the victim back just as they gain distance. The final admiring glances suggest the powerful, destructive pull may not be entirely overcome, leaving a lingering question about whether the cycle is truly broken. The roller coaster offers thrills, but the terrifying descent is part of the package – a model for the destructive relationships we sometimes choose.

References:

• Karpman, S. B. (1968). Fairy tales and script drama analysis. Transactional Analysis Bulletin, 7(26), 39–43.
  This seminal article introduces the "Drama Triangle," outlining the dysfunctional psychological roles of Persecutor, Rescuer, and Victim. It explains how individuals in conflict often unconsciously switch between these roles, preventing healthy resolution. This framework is highly relevant to understanding the shifting dynamics between Tony and Giorgio, where Giorgio, in particular, seems to move between persecuting Tony, rescuing Agnes (or presenting himself as doing so), and playing the victim of circumstance, while Tony often finds herself in the victim role, occasionally attempting to rescue or persecute in return.