Life often feels like a brief flicker of light between two vast eternities of darkness. We know, deep down, that our time is limited, that an unavoidable end approaches daily. Yet, how often do we truly confront this certainty? It’s perhaps the one thing all humans share, yet we seldom feel a sense of connection through this shared fate. Common thinking often tells us it's healthier to push these thoughts away, to concentrate solely on the vibrant pulse of living. But is this avoidance truly the path to a richer, more meaningful existence?

Wisdom Through the Ages

For centuries, wise minds—philosophers, spiritual leaders, and great thinkers—have suggested the opposite. They argued that acknowledging death isn't morbid curiosity, but an essential part of understanding life. Many concluded that facing our own finitude doesn't detract from the experience of living, but profoundly enriches it. They realised that periodically reflecting on the approach of death is not an unhealthy practice; it can be surprisingly life-affirming. This isn't just ancient insight; recent psychological research suggests that people who contemplate the limits of life may adopt healthier behaviors and, as a result, potentially live longer. We see echoes of this in the profound shifts often experienced by those who have had near-death experiences. While psychiatrists work hard to encourage even small positive changes, individuals who believe they are facing death and then recover often undergo dramatic transformations, developing a newfound appreciation for life itself.

Seeing Clearly: Perspective and the Present

While flirting with physical death isn't a wise path to psychological growth, we can gain similar, if less intense, benefits by thoughtfully considering our mortality. How can the idea of death be helpful? It acts as a powerful lens, bringing our existence into sharp, realistic focus. To live fully, we must understand our limitations, the most significant being the finite and uncertain nature of our time. A failure to recognise this often leads us to sacrifice the present, pinning our hopes on an imagined future where we believe we’ll finally have the chance to fix things or live differently.

Those who live solely for the future, always looking ahead, are like the proverbial donkey chasing a bundle of hay dangling just out of reach – always striving for a future reward while the present moment slips by, unused and unnoticed. These individuals risk living in a state of constant deferral, always waiting for life to begin, until their time runs out. Contemplating our mortality can break this illusion, urging us to stop wandering in a 'someday' that doesn't truly belong to us and instead engage fully with the 'now'.

Urgency and Value: Making Time Count

Thinking about death helps us grasp a simple truth: the true cost of anything is the amount of life we exchange for it. Too often, we pour precious time into things that offer little real benefit—draining relationships, unfulfilling work, or habits that harm us. We might know change is needed, but we delay, telling ourselves conditions will be better later.

Becoming more aware of mortality injects a vital sense of urgency. As the philosopher Seneca suggested, since we don’t know where death awaits us, we should live as though we expect it anywhere, at any time. This awareness isn't about living in fear, but about understanding that existence cannot be endlessly postponed. Waiting for the 'perfect' moment to truly live is a dangerous gamble against a clock we cannot see.

Connecting Deeper: Mortality and Relationships

Reflecting on our own end can also profoundly transform our relationships. When we truly grasp that our time is limited, we inevitably realize the same is true for everyone we care about. Their lives, too, are precious and finite. Knowing that any encounter could potentially be the last encourages us to cherish the moments we share more deeply. As Sigmund Freud noted, the limitation placed on enjoyment can actually increase its value. Recognising the potential transience of our connections can make them far more precious.

Finding Balance: A Necessary Reflection

Despite these potential benefits, most of us instinctively shy away from thoughts of death. It feels uncomfortable, even frightening. Indeed, death can be like the sun: essential to life's ecosystem, but dangerous to stare at directly for too long. Constant obsession can lead to paralyzing anxiety. However, completely refusing to acknowledge mortality can be just as detrimental. Just as we need the sun's rays to sustain physical life, perhaps periodic, mindful reflections on death are necessary to fill our lives with presence, relevance, and an awareness of the moment – qualities often lacking in our busy world. As St. Augustine suggested, perhaps it is only in the face of death that we are truly awakened to life.

References:

• Yalom, Irvin D. (2008). Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death. Jossey-Bass.

  This work by existential psychotherapist Irvin Yalom explores how confronting the fear of death, rather than suppressing it, can paradoxically lead to a more meaningful and appreciative life. Yalom suggests that awareness of finitude motivates us to prioritize what truly matters and live more authentically in the present (See especially Chapters 1 & 2 for the core premise).

• Seneca, Lucius Annaeus. (c. 49 AD). On the Shortness of Life. (Multiple translations available, e.g., Penguin Classics).

  In this classic Stoic essay, Seneca argues forcefully against wasting precious time on trivial pursuits or constantly deferring life to the future. He emphasizes the importance of living deliberately and making the most of the present moment, given the brevity and uncertainty of life (Sections 1-3 are particularly relevant to themes of time-wasting and living in the present).