It’s a curious truth that we often wish for an easier life, yet the real transformation comes when we ourselves become stronger, more resilient. Life has its seasons, much like nature. There are times when the sun seems to shine perpetually, birds sing, and a sense of carefree brightness envelops us. Then, inevitably, winter arrives. This isn't just a meteorological phenomenon; it's a metaphor for the challenging periods that visit every one of us, with a regularity that life has observed for ages. Winter can manifest as a sudden health crisis, an unexpected job loss, a bewildering lack of direction, or a crisis of purpose. It can be a financial downturn, a painful divorce, a heartbreaking betrayal, or the sting of broken trust. The specific events may vary, but the feelings they evoke are often strikingly similar: profound uncertainty about our abilities, gnawing anxiety, a pervasive pessimism, and a heavy cloak of apathy.

We cannot hide from winter. It will knock on every door, and it will do so with a certain rhythm. When it arrives, the path forward isn't about wishing the storm away; it's about learning to navigate it. The desire for life to simply become easier is a fool's errand. Instead, we must focus on becoming better equipped. But before we delve into how to become better, what essential skills do we need to merely survive the harshest season of our lives?

The Crossroads: Victim or Survivor?

When winter descends, we stand at a critical crossroads, faced with a fundamental choice about the role we will adopt. There are two primary paths.

One path is that of the victim. This road, deceptively, seems to have no end; for the victim, winter can become a permanent state of being. If you see yourself as a victim of circumstances, how can you possibly change anything? For the victim, circumstances are always a conspiracy against them. Their vocabulary is telling: "Why is this happening to me?" "I'm just unlucky." "It's not my fault; it's the government, my parents, my boss…" (insert any noun, it will fit). Everyone else is to blame. The only hope for someone on this path is sheer luck, like a lottery win – a temporary reprieve, but ultimately not a solution, because the victim's mindset is inherently self-sabotaging. Statistics even show that a high percentage of lottery winners find themselves bankrupt within a few years. Why? Because if a windfall arrives, one must quickly learn the mindset of managing resources and opportunities. True resilience and prosperity aren't just about the momentary presence of resources but an ingrained mindset. Most self-made individuals who lost everything found ways to rebuild, like a phoenix, because their minds were programmed for growth and problem-solving, not defeat. Choosing the victim role is like multiplying by zero; the outcome remains unchanged.

The other road, the one that leads out of winter, is the path of the survivor. The survivor endures the winter because they possess an inner navigator.

The Survivor's Compass: First Steps

What is the first guiding principle for the survivor? It's the understanding that winter is not the end; it is a period. Like any phase of life, it is destined to pass. And what follows winter? Spring. A time of renewal, opportunity, when things seem to fall into place, often because of the unseen work done during the challenging cold. This work involves reflecting on mistakes and preparing for all of life's future seasons.

Life moves in cycles. I recall a personal winter that began when I was around 20, and another profound one when I was 28. Back then, it felt as if I had achieved nothing, that time had been wasted. I thought I was on the right path but saw no other options and was, frankly, afraid to deviate. I was working abroad, and to maintain my status, it seemed I had to commit to a very long-term, restrictive employment situation before having more freedom. The prospect of this stretching out until I was 37 was daunting. Knowing that spring eventually follows winter is crucial. It's that small, warm spark in your chest, that inner fire, which is indispensable during harsh times.

Recalibrating Resources: The First Audit

Winter is characterized by limited resources. The most vital resource that will pull us from winter into spring is that inner energy. But before we can effectively navigate, we must take stock. We don't know how long winter will last. Consider the global financial crisis of 2008 or the sudden upheavals caused by the global pandemic. I remember a particularly challenging period, making a hasty departure from a major city back to my parents' home. My visa was expiring, and fear – fear of uncertainty, fear of an unstable status in a foreign land – was palpable. The media frenzy at the time painted a picture of an impending apocalypse, making my situation feel even more precarious.

There I was, back on my parents' couch, a place I had left years earlier, having lived and worked in different countries. Now, I was back where I started, with no clear idea of what to do next. Returning to my previous situation abroad wasn't viable, nor did I desire to be in a restrictive position. The longer one remains in a state of inertia, stuck and unable to take that first step, the deeper the regression. This period of idleness stretched into months. It’s a dreadful feeling, a kind of self-loathing, often accompanied by aimless scrolling through social media – a mental anesthetic – or watching meaningless shows to distract from the core problem: a lost sense of purpose.

My purpose had previously been a multi-year plan: explore, learn languages, gain skills, secure a job in an international company. The illusion was that then life would be colorful, then happiness would arrive. This is a common trap: "When I earn X, I'll be happy." "When I buy Y, I'll be happy." "When I find Z, I'll be happy." This is an illusion. To break free from winter's grip, you need to return to reality and gather your resources.

Conduct an audit:

• Finances: How much money do you have to sustain yourself without immediate income?
• Knowledge & Markets: What fields or markets are you already familiar with?
• Skills: What skills have you mastered, and which of these are currently in demand?
• Assets: What tangible or intangible assets do you possess (e.g., a professional network, an audience, supportive friends and acquaintances)?

Understanding the extent of your "resource warehouse" is the first step toward action. But it might still be too early for a significant leap.

Cultivating Energy: Plugging the Drains

Without energy, you won't get far. You'll stall. We need to learn to cultivate our own energy, to change our internal state.

1. Plug Energy Black Holes: Identify where your energy is leaking irretrievably. Often, this includes interactions with people who embody the victim mentality. This mindset can be contagious. We cannot afford to catch that "cold," even if it means distancing ourselves from old connections who reside in that paradigm.
2. Mind What You Consume: Energy is also lost to the constant barrage of news and an endless stream of short-form content. We often don't know the agenda behind the news we consume, but it's rarely positive. As for short videos and posts, consider how many you truly remember or that genuinely add value. Even educational snippets often lack the context, narrative, and depth required for real learning; information flies by without sticking.
3. Fix the Foundation – Health: Health is the table upon which everything else rests. If that table is wobbly, nothing you place on it will be secure.

When I first did such a resource audit, I realized I had enough savings for about six months, a business education from studies abroad, work experience in another foreign country, and proficiency in two languages. Writing it all down, I saw I was in a better position than when I had first left that family couch years before. Yet, the most crucial element was missing: energy. I was physically healthy, but metaphorically glued to the couch, my energy reserves depleted. This happens easily: the more you are idle, the more idleness takes hold. Conversely, a person is like a flywheel with energy; the more active you are, the more energy you generate.

At that time, gyms were closed, and working out at home felt unproductive, like trying to write a book in a noisy bar. The atmosphere wasn't conducive. Conclusion: change the atmosphere. For many, gym training can be monotonous due to a lack of excitement or playfulness. I needed that sense of play. My go-to has always been basketball. No matter the season of life, I try not to abandon this passion. A long separation can even bring a bigger spark upon reunion. So, I turned to basketball, which got me off the couch.

The Second Audit: Understanding Winter's Origins

Remember, the resource audit was just the first one. Now, it's time for audit number two: How did we end up in this winter season in the first place? Winter rarely appears unannounced. There are usually preceding signs, an "autumn" where the air grows colder, but the snow hasn't fallen yet. Memories of summer are still fresh, making it seem like summer will last forever. But we know better.

This audit of the reasons that led us to winter is vitally important, and it's best done after we have regained some energy and a more positive outlook. People are storytellers. We all tell ourselves stories, and these narratives can be empowering or disempowering. You might frame your experience as an adventure where you lost everything but are poised to rise again, like a phoenix – an inspiring tale. Or, you can cast yourself in a tragedy: "I've lost everything; my life is over." Reality itself is neutral; it has no inherent flavor. It's like a coloring book – the colors you choose to paint it with determine its appearance.

The story of the Phoenix is one of rebirth. A couple of years after a particularly harsh winter around 2020, another one knocked on my door. I lost almost everything. For context, there were three days when I didn't eat because I had no money at all. But the story I told myself was: "The time will come, and this unplanned fast will become a story I tell." And here I am, sharing it. Why did I take photos of myself in a guesthouse at 2, 3, or 5 AM, still working? For the same reason: I told myself that someday, this struggle would be part of my narrative. Behind those moments was a real person with real fears, my greatest being complete financial ruin, especially when you're past 30. You can't just easily call a parent and ask for a loan when you're trying to build something new. There's pride involved. I know because I’ve been there. I remember having to write down a request for help on paper and read it aloud to myself before I could even make the call. But that wasn’t the end. A couple of years later, I was able to help my mother retire comfortably. Thus, a dramatic story evolved into one of adventure and perseverance.

You become a product of the stories you tell yourself, especially in winter's darkest hours. You must continuously program your thinking. Why? Because you won't always want to, but you always have to. There's often no other viable option. When you shift your internal state and can frame your experiences constructively, fueled by renewed energy, you can then understand what exactly led you into winter. This was an element I missed in that 2020 winter, a mistake that cost me six months.

The main reason for that particular winter was that I kept deferring a path that felt more aligned with who I truly was, a more authentic direction. It started with a growing dissatisfaction with office work, with working for someone else. That was the early chill of autumn. I postponed addressing it, telling myself I needed to learn more about business first, perhaps through my business education, before starting anything on my own. But true learning often comes from doing. I didn't conduct this crucial second audit back then. I fixed my energy levels, and the acute pain of working for others subsided, but the fear of starting my own venture remained. I hadn't eliminated the root cause of the winter, so it lingered. I found another job, but I disliked the work, the environment, and the compensation. The dissatisfaction grew.

The Sixth Element: Finding Meaning in Suffering

Pain can be a very effective teacher. A central tenet in some philosophies, loosely translated, suggests that life involves suffering. I don't fully agree if it implies constant misery. But it dawned on me that "suffering"—hardships and trials—can be viewed from different angles. Your perspective shapes your experience. For instance, working for someone else, 8 hours a day, 5 days a week, for a certain salary, felt like hard labor to me. I found no meaning in it. After three months of this, I quit and became a freelancer. Suddenly, I was working 12 hours a day, seven days a week, and in the first month, I earned significantly less. Yet, mentally, I felt absolutely happy. I was an entrepreneur, a businessman! No one was telling me what to do. I was finally free, in control of my life. Objectively, it was incredibly difficult, but I found meaning in it. That was the difference.

Perhaps life does involve suffering, but suffering without purpose is, to put it mildly, foolish. You need something in life for which you are willing to endure hardship, something you won't feel ashamed of—especially not in your own eyes. A person needs meaning. The meaning of life is the sixth element that will pull you out of any winter storm.

How do you find it? It's not found externally; it can only be revealed from within. And how do you reveal it? Through trial and error, by testing, trying, attempting. Only then can it emerge.

The Chronicle of Winter and Embracing Cyclicality

Life is fleeting in the grand scheme of history. One day, we will be gone. Even those whose approval we once desperately sought will be gone. Everything will eventually fade. From time to time, you will find yourself in a winter period. You cannot hide from it. But by having an algorithm for overcoming these life crises, you will know what to do when winter knocks.

1. Choose Your Role: Are you a victim or a survivor? Only survivors find the way out.
2. Understand Temporality: Winter is not the end. It’s a phase to be endured.
3. First Audit (Resources): Winter means scarce resources. Understand what you have.
4. Rekindle Inner Fire: Find ways to get your energy flywheel spinning.
5. Second Audit (Causes): Once energy returns, understand what led you into winter. Were there "autumn" warnings you missed?
6. Find Meaning: This is crucial. You need a "why" to endure the "how." What are you willing to strive for?
7. Keep a Chronicle: When winter passes—and for survivors, it always does—document your experience. This serves as a reminder that life is cyclical, this probably wasn't your last winter, and your chronicle will give you confidence next time. Because winter will knock again, often when you least expect it, even after a period of sunshine.

My own next winter arrived after just four months of a perceived "summer." The freelance work had been successful; I was living comfortably, having moved to a beautiful location, renting a spacious villa with a friend, no longer constantly worrying about prices. Then, one day, sitting in that villa, I felt the unmistakable chill: winter had returned. How short that summer had been.

Don't wish for life to become easier. Wish for yourself to become better.

References

• Frankl, V. E. (1959). Man's Search for Meaning. Beacon Press.
  This profound work details psychiatrist Viktor Frankl's experiences in Nazi concentration camps and his psychotherapeutic method of finding meaning in all forms of existence, even suffering. It strongly supports the article's emphasis on finding meaning (the "sixth element") as a crucial factor in navigating life's "winters" and overcoming adversity. Frankl argues that our primary drive in life is not pleasure, but the discovery and pursuit of what we personally find meaningful.
• Seligman, M. E. P. (1998). Learned Optimism: How to Change Your Mind and Your Life. Pocket Books.
  Seligman's research on learned helplessness and learned optimism is highly relevant to the article's discussion of the "victim vs. survivor" mentality. The book explains how individuals can learn to become helpless in the face of adversity, but more importantly, how they can cultivate an optimistic explanatory style, which is key to resilience and proactive problem-solving during difficult times ("winter"). It provides a framework for understanding how changing one's thought patterns can lead to better outcomes.
• Dweck, C. S. (2006). Mindset: The New Psychology of Success. Random House.
  Dweck's research on fixed versus growth mindsets aligns with the article's core message: "Don't wish for life to become easier, wish for yourself to become better." A growth mindset – the belief that abilities can be developed through dedication and hard work – is crucial for "survivors" who actively work on themselves during "winter" to emerge stronger. This contrasts with a fixed mindset, which can contribute to a "victim" mentality where challenges are seen as insurmountable. The book explores how adopting a growth mindset fuels resilience and the pursuit of meaning.