No matter how smart teens are or how well they do on exams like the SAT or ACT, good decision-making is something they’re still learning.

The part of a teen’s brain that handles rational thinking (the prefrontal cortex) isn’t fully developed until about age 25.

Studies show that adult and teen brains actually function differently. Adults use their prefrontal cortex (the brain’s rational side) to think through situations, make decisions, and consider long-term consequences. On the other hand, teens rely more on the amygdala, which controls emotions.

In teens, the connections between the emotional part of their brain and the decision-making part are still developing. Sometimes, they don’t develop at the same pace. That’s why when teens feel strong emotions, they might act impulsively and struggle to explain their actions later. At that moment, they’re not thinking logically—they’re reacting emotionally.

What Can Parents Do?
You play a key role in your teen’s life. While friends are important, the way you behave and handle responsibilities leaves a lasting impression on your child. Here are some ways you can help:

• Talk About Consequences: Discuss the possible outcomes when your teen makes decisions. This helps them connect their impulsive thoughts with the facts, training their brain to make these connections more often.
  Example: If your teen is upset and wants to skip school, talk through the potential consequences: falling behind in classes, missing important lessons, or having extra stress later on. This can help them think through decisions in the future.
• Build Confidence: Remind your teen that they are capable and resilient. Since teens are often caught up in the moment, they may struggle to see that they can turn things around. Reminding them of times when they handled tough situations can boost their confidence.
  Example: “Remember when you were so nervous about that big test? You studied hard, and even though it was tough, you did better than you expected!”
  
• Show Interest in Their World: You don’t have to love everything your teen loves (like their music), but showing interest in their hobbies and passions tells them that they matter to you.
• Ask How You Can Help: Sometimes teens just want to be heard, not fixed. Ask them if they want advice or just need someone to listen.
  Example: “Do you want my thoughts on this, or should I just listen?”
  
• Encourage Good Sleep Habits: Teen brains need more sleep than adult brains, so encourage your teen to get enough rest.
• Create a Safe Space for Conversation: Instead of jumping in with solutions or blame, try to be a safe place for your teen to open up. If they feel safe talking to you, they’re more likely to share their struggles and let you be part of their life.

Warning Signs
It’s normal for teens to have ups and downs. However, if you notice a big change in mood or behavior that lasts for more than two weeks, it could be a sign of something more serious, like depression. Mental health issues often start during the teen years.

If you think your teen may be depressed, seek help from a mental health professional as soon as possible. Depression is serious and can be life-threatening if left untreated.

Even though your teen may act like they don’t need you, they do. Understanding how their brain works can help you guide them toward becoming independent and responsible adults.